My Response to “Abstinence is Unrealistic and Old-Fashioned”


Matt, This is my first time reading one of your entries and as I sit here amongst mixed company and do so, I found that your article ignited a uniform and fiery reaction. Some of your points are valid and true, but your expansion on these points further perpetuates a profoundly uninformed, bigoted and closed line of thinking. I noticed that you continually harp on the regurgitated nonsense that society’s moral fabric is damaged and this purported damage, according to your elevated line of reasoning leads to “dysfunctional marriages”, “predators and perverts” and lastly but certainly not least, “spiritually broken people.” In your gallant and ill-fated quest to help your young reader muddle through his confusion, you employed horrible reasoning drenched in sarcasm with little factual evidence to reinforce and support your belief system. Society’s morals have essentially plateaued. Not until maybe the 70s did the United States Federal Government start to recognize domestic violence and attempt to enact laws to combat that. Disenfranchisement and discrimination of minorities persisted well throughout the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. The United States Federal Government only started to identify and try to understand child abuse during the 60’s and well, white women couldn’t legally vote in the U.S. until 1920, but as a white male, I’m sure you somehow forgot about all of these you know, ‘non-issues’ when you tried to attack the moral fibers of our society. Now back to the topic at hand. Is our culture experiencing hyper-sexualization at a bizarre rate? Yes. Perversion? No. Does this changing sexual climate breed a degenerate youth? Not necessarily. Sex is by no means a dirty thing. It’s a private and personal thing. Sex is a subjective act and to classify anyone who doesn’t dignify the act in the same manner that you do as misguided or dirty is absurd. That’s absurd. I’m repeating that so maybe, just maybe, you might process that. You noted that there’s “plenty of ignorance on the subject” and ironically so, you act as a direct contributor to this “ignorance” and “confusion.” There are plenty of people in functional, unmarried and sexual adult relationships. It’s faulty on your part to brazenly assert that in order to be honest with yourself and a faithful partner, then you must damn all previous partners, loves and experiences to hell. Not so. “Marriage as an institution is in rough shape” you say. Well yes, yes it must be. I mean women are no longer delegated to the confines of the household but are aspiring to attain much more than a prestigious last name and a few children to call their own. And oh look, back in the day, the courts didn’t make it so easy to dissolve a marriage, so yes, more marriages remained intact, but at what and whose expense? Many of my friends’ parents as well as mine are still married and have been for many decades, but alternately, I know people who come from single-parent or blended families. People get married and stay married for several reasons and love isn’t always at the top of the list just like people who divorce do so for many reasons—-with love or rather the lack thereof not necessarily being an aggravating factor. It just depends. I think it’s great for those select groups who choose to wait until marriage to engage in sex, but it’s also great for those who choose not to do so. Neither is bold or brave or better. Neither of those groups should be shamed. Your approach was not especially profound, actually, you simply used this as an opportunity to mount your soapbox and condemn others for choosing a separate path. You’re not better than anyone for the sexual choices you’ve made. See, this is what leads to the decay of society, individuals holding on to their elitist views and pretentiously believing they’re better than others for it.

Pierce The Veil-“King For a Day”

(Source: shahirzag.com)